so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize