I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
