accomplished twins. life is a go
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
