Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
