I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
