just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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