omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can you bring me the toilet please
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
