I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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