I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Are we still banned from the library?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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