I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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