god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
