can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
