People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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