Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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