No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
