yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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