well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
