dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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