He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
