the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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