I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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