I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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