Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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