I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
