He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
