so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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