where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
