We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
