She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize