He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize