Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
