For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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