I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize