Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
