How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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