But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
