i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
