I got chris browned last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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