Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
