He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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