i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
