god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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