I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize