Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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