Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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