every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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