Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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