Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
