Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
