I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize