And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
