It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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