walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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