Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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