I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
