just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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