We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
