is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
