Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
