Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
