she woke up with a sticky ear
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she peed on how many people?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
