I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
