How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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