Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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