I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
