alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
