So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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