well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
