sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
