I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
